My first Loliday~

Ok, so friday my meta dress came in the mail. <3 i was ecstatic! i kept looking for excuses to go out and wear it. XD then i heard about project harajuko. and it was having a meet sunday (today). perfect timing!! so i dawned my first loli dress for the first time and went to my first lolli meet! i had a lotta fun. <3 Loita_lin_lin was there (she made me a fantastical bow <3) and one other girl. it was... well kinda boring. =/ we just kidna hung out and at a mall i work at. x.x but none-the-less i had fun. i was pleased to say my dress fit well enough, though it was a smidgeon too big. though nothing im tripping over. <3 i promise to have pics soon! =D

Why I am Lolita

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Gothic Lolita is NOT a fetish, is NOT a cult, and is NOT born from visual kei. It is a fashion, predating visual kei, based on the gothic victorian style. Thus the term 'gothic'. It is not associated with western modern terms of gothic. In this fashion it tries to emulate children, and their overall innocence. Thus the term lolita. Whether it was inspired from the novel about the child Lolita is rumor. While I cannot tell you for fact or not if its origins are linked to that, I personally don't believe. I think I recall reading that most japanese didn't know of the reference.
To sum it up, its a fashion that tries to copy victorian age porcelain dolls.

Why do I dress Lolita? I enjoy it. Is there much more explaining needed then this? If I enjoy it, shouldn't that be enough? Apparently not.

I won't argue the origins, the innuendos, the overly convenient coincidences. I'll tell you what it is to ME.

All my life I've been attracted to fashion similar to Lolita. Even as a small child, I loved my frilly dresses and polished shoes. I cried when I ran holes in my stocking. I loved the compliments I received. My great grandmother collected dolls as a hobby, her entire life. Walking into her room, where every inch of wall space was installed with shelves and covered in dolls was terrifying, sure, but mesmerizing. I loved that she did that. Every Christmas me and my cousins would receive porcelain dolls of the victorian age look. Wind up ones that sang 'Beautiful Dreamer'.

As I grew older, I fell out with common fashion. I didn't care my clothes where brand, I didn't care if they had wholes or where dirty, I didn't care if they didn't match. I became the t-shirt and jeans girl. At one point I wore makeup religiously. Never much- eyeliner, eyeshadow. Maybe lip gloss. But soon I stopped doing even that. It seemed pointless to me.

It's not that I didn't care how I appeared. Most anyone who knows me will say I don't care how I appear. A few who REALLY know me will tell you I care tremendously. I do.

Granted, I wasn't introduced to the lolita fashion until 9th or 10th grade, despite having been exposed to it and never realizing. Even then, I still didn't start truly grasping it till 12th grade and out. In fact, I still don't own any dresses. Granted they're on they're way, but no. I do not own any lolita clothing.

What truly drew me to the fashion? I feel pretty wearing it. Isn't that the important thing? Isn't that why other people dress the way they do? You see it everywhere around the world. People dress the way they do because it makes them feel pretty or feel sexy, which in turn gives them confidence. There is nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. One may try to argue that dressing to feel sexy is the same as dressing slutty but it is not! Many people feel that the Gothic Lolita style is emulating child pornography or pedophiles. One could also say dressing in ecko brand is emulating gangsters and thievery. That's called stereotyping folks.

I did not start this fashion as an extended attraction to anime. I don't know how many times I have to repeat this, but its TRUE. Yes, I happen to be an anime/manga fan. I don't know how many of you are familiar with this, but when you dress in cosplay, there is a certain feeling (or at least until you forget what your wearing) but its a feeling of standing but feeling good. Sometimes rather awkward. But in anime communities, rather positive. When I dress Lolita there is an altogether different feeling, a feeling of importance. Do you know that feeling you get when you dress up special for prom, and feel good about it? It's like that. Now, my goal is to own a Lolita wardrobe wide enough to dress Lolita everyday, and have that continuing feeling of confidence, the way an important business person walks into her job looking fresh and confident. Does that make sense?

I won't stop wearing Lolita. So whether your friend, family, or stranger, either accept me or move on. I've backed down on many things in life, but when I can identify something true to me, I will not let loose on it.

"For my will is as strong as yours. And my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me."

(lol, ok sorry for the dorky quote but I just love it. <3)

Well, love me or hate me, Terra signing out.